Sunday, May 8, 2011

Happy Mother's Day!

I posted a picture of my backyard yesterday and Kari was all, 
"Uhhh your yard is ridiculously gianormous. Seriously. Gianormous."  
Girl, you've got no idea.
  
It takes 2 hours to mow with a push mower. 
I really didn't think it through when I told Jimi the house with the big yard was the best one.  
Of course, he hadn't yet told me of his "grass allergy", either, so how was I to know?

Happy Mothers Day to all of the Mommas out there!  My Momma spent the weekend with her sisters; she'll be back home this afternoon and the plan is for Jimi and I to go over and make dinner and plant the lilies we got to replace the ones that were accidentally mowed over last year (Dad).  Daddy's birthday is tomorrow, so I've gotta figure out something for that - nothing like waiting till the last minute.  It'll all be fine.

I've been reading the things you've all written about your moms and how much they mean to you, and I want to do that for my Momma, too, but I feel like I'd probably do it wrong.  I don't know; I don't feel like I'm a very good daughter sometimes.  I love my Momma more than just about anything else in the world, but I take her for granted; I don't spend time with her the way I should, I don't invite her over for dinner or to bake, we don't meet out for lunch and shopping once a week or even once a month.  I'm pretty sure I went three months without seeing her after New Year's and she only lives 20 minutes up the road.  It's shameful.  I know I won't have her around forever, but it feels like she'll always be there because I can't imagine an alternative; she couldn't possibly grow old and die because she's my Mommy and she still has so much to teach me!

Sometimes I feel like I've let her down by not having a grandchild or two for her yet; like there was a way things were supposed to work out and giving her grandbabies was on the agenda and I've not done my part.  She doesn't make me feel that way - she doesn't pressure or nag - I just feel like I've let her down.  And I fear that if I wait too long I won't have her wealth of knowledge and advice at my disposal.  

Jimi asked me last night what Momma's favorite meal is, and I don't know the answer.  I could only come up with "chicken livers" - I know she loves them, but I don't think they're her favorite.  She likes eggs but can't eat many of them because they make her belly hurt.  Her favorite color is green.  She's left-handed and she plays the piano beautifully - she can open up a piece of music for the first time and play it like she's practiced for days.  She goes to the grocery probably 5 times a week.  She cooks dinner almost every night even if there won't be anyone but her to eat while it's hot.  She's a worrier - all the women from that line are, me included.  She's brilliant with money - Daddy says it's all because of her that the banks would be happy to lend them more money than they could ever hope to pay back.  She makes delicious healthy foods and says they're not worth eating because she forgot to add this or she put in too much of that - Granny did that too, and apparently, so do I.  

She says she's not my friend - she's my Mother.  There's a difference.  At 31, I'm still working to get her to revise her stance on this topic - I get why it was important 10 or 15 years ago, but these days?  Not so much.  

I love holding her hand or hugging her close to me; she's my Momma, and it feels like coming home to touch her.  I know I'm always safe and loved when she's in the room.  Her smell is Aromatics Elixir from Clinique - if I get a whiff on another woman in a store, I have to call Momma to tell her I love her because she suddenly feels close.  

She always has the right words.  When an ex-boyfriend hurt me and I had to leave the apartment we shared, I thought I'd have to suck up my pride and beg to go back home - Momma's words were "Natalie, you get what you have to bring and you come home.  And for God's sake, don't let your father find out what he did."  I don't remember the exact words either of us used when I called her from El Paso to tell her my husband wanted a divorce, but I remember the fear I felt dialing the phone, and the relief that washed over for me when she said she was just so sad for me, but that I was strong and she admired my strength and that she'd get my bedroom ready for me again - and then she sent me a check to pay for my moving expenses.  And last year, when I was pregnant and then I wasn't, she loved me and cried for me and with me and told me everything was going to be okay and I believed her because she's my Momma and she'd never lie to me.  

She's my Momma and everything I have, everything I am, is because of and thanks to her.  She's taught me everything I know, but I still have so much to learn.  I'll try harder, Momma, I promise.  I'll do better.  

Happy Mother's Day to all of my friends out there in blogland, also.  You've all taught me a lot - about life, family, friendship, womanhood.  Like a community of motherly knowledge I can draw from - thank you.    

In other news, this:






12 comments:

  1. I love this! It is such a sweet tribute to your mother!

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  2. Sweet, Natalie, very sweet.

    When you have parents that you love like this, spend that time with them! Your Mom has made quite an impression on you and has helped mold you into a very special young woman. Count your Blessings!

    Hugs, pretty lady! Happy Wishes to your Mom for a lovely day, too!

    Patty

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  3. I'm hoping to pop out a couple grandkids for my mom soon (but I think my dad is more excited for that hahahahahaha)

    I loved this about your mom, so sweet!

    Stopping by from FTLOB

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  4. awww this is such a nice post!

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  5. Natalie, that is really sweet. Your Momma sounds all kinds of awesome. I do hope you have a lovely Mother's Day with her.

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  6. Came across your NOT BORING blog on Comment Sunday on FTLOB. I feel like you are the voice in the back of my head that I filter. HA!
    Can I steal your "things im grateful for" idea? My counselor would be proud {cause i DO have the crazies}.
    Great to meet you! Can't wait to read more!
    Jess @ Doubling the DeWitts!

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  7. I think I'm more impressed that in all that space you actually have grass. My parents have been trying to keep grass in their front yard for 34 years and it's always died off and their front yard is teeny! So good job green thumb grass grower!

    And...I thought this was a beautiful post about you Mom. I think we all kind of take our moms for granted. They're always there for you, they always will be. I can't imagine a time when she won't be, but I think about her all the time and think, I should call her or I should go over and visit with her, but life gets in the way sometimes.

    I hope you have a fabulous remainder of your weekend Notie! Go lay on some grass for me!!

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  8. This is such a beautiful post!! Makes me wish I had my mom 20 minutes down the road instead of 2000 miles away :(

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  9. That was a wonderful way to honor your mother. I also feel the same way sometimes...that Im not a very good daughter. This is the first year I've not been with my mom on Mother's day since I moved to Ireland in March so it is hard too.

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  10. Visiting from Comment love day :)

    Miranda
    www.indcfashion.com

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  11. Wow, you might not have meant it that way, but this is really sweet and really powerful. Beautiful post. And I am sure she knows how much you mean to her :)
    Stopped over from FTLOB, although I know I have been over here before. But really, really enjoyed the read today ;)
    http://texagermanadian.blogspot.com/

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  12. The first few times I looked at that, I thought she said your backyard was glamorous. Sorry, you know I love your house, but from that picture of the backyard, I wasn't quite seeing where she was getting glamorous....

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Please don't make me cry.

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