Wednesday, May 25, 2011


We're supposed to have massive "worst storms in decades" storms tonight.  Facebook said so, so it must be true.  Do I sound like an asshole if I say "Ugh, whatever."?  Because that's how I feel in response to the hysteria of the local meteorological media.  Yeah, I get that there have been a lot of bad storms out there lately, but a tornado isn't like a wolf stalking your sheep - it's not OUT THERE, lurking, waiting for you to turn your back so it can pounce - it's not a guarantee.  Just because one town was destroyed a few days ago doesn't mean that bastard twister is hanging out somewhere over Paducah right now plotting its vengeance on Louisville.  But these guys, the ones on TV and the ones armchair forecasting on Facebook, they're getting hard thinking about rotation.  They want to be the ones who told you to go to your basement just in the knick of time, or (if you don't have a basement) suggested the bathtub or hall closet; they want to hear how their words saved your life and the life of your darling baby 13 year old pug named Eunice.


I admit it, I ignore sirens.  Almost all the time.  If I'm awake when they go off and I hear them, I'll go outside and watch the sky, but I don't head for shelter.  If we ever do have a massive tornado barrel through southwest Louisville, I'll probably be among the initial wave of missing - I sleep with earplugs and I'm not subscribed to a warning-text service and I don't have a weather radio.  Of course I'd go to the basement if I was sitting on the front porch and saw the twister headed my way - but short of that, there's a good chance I wouldn't know what was coming or what hit me and I'd probably be in some real trouble.

I can't be too scared of it.  I'm scared I'm going to give myself cancer or destroy my body with inactivity, but I can't worry about tornadoes.  I can't do a thing about those.  I likely can't outrun it if faced with one.  Why make myself crazy over something I absolutely have no power over?

See?  I can be so logical sometimes.  Or maybe I'm not being logical.  Am I?

They said the storms would start about six.  I can see some blue in the sky still.  Radar shows a line of crap that just went through St. Louis, but it looks choppy and slow-moving.  Eh.  I ain't worried.

Edit:  But I just found a weather blog.  And maybe I'll make sure I know where flashlights are before I go to bed tonight.  And maybe I'll stay up a little later than normal and watch some extra TV.  And maybe I'll check the radar a few more times before I go to sleep.  Hmm...


  1. I am totally with you on the logic side of things, but you hear me BE SAFE!! I don't want to hear that you're MIA. Hang out in the naked on the treadmill...have wild monkey sex on the dryer while a load's running...make a fun day of it...whatever you do, be here tomorrow Notie!

  2. I'm also having a hard time getting worked up over the storms. I'm kinda wishing that my mom and dad would go to bed so I can use the big TV, but their weather radio would be waking them up anyway, so they might as well stay glued to the TV.

  3. I am the same way as you. There is just too much stuff to worry about in this big wide world. Dang! Those weather peeps HAVE to get worked up otherwise, hello, there wouldn't be any need for them and they would be jobless. Their panic attacks leading to our panic attacks are their job security. That is all.

    But yes, do stay up a little later than usual will you? I don't wanna have to do any crying tomorrow, ya hear???


Please don't make me cry.


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