Thursday, May 26, 2011

Storm? What storm?

The "worst storm in decades" lost its steam before it rolled into Louisville last night, but not until the local media and facebook forecasters convinced us we were going to die if we didn't sleep in our basements. I told you, I usually ignore this crap, but I got a little swept up in it this time - I even made some "just in case" contingencies:

~ I filled an iced tea pitcher with ice water and carried it and two cups downstairs.

~ Once I got downstairs, I had to figure out where the safe spot in the basement was – I determined that under our laundry table is probably best, especially with the baskets full of dirty clothes arranged in front to protect us from flying things. And I grabbed up some blankets that are waiting for their turns in the washer, thinking we could put them over us if the shit really did start to go down. The problem with the idea of taking shelter under the table? Spiders live under there. Big ones. I’m really glad we didn’t have to take cover.

~ I plugged in the radio that lives downstairs. I don’t have any batteries for it, and I really didn’t think through the fact that if we took cover in the basement, our power would likely be out, making the radio completely useless – or just another projectile.

~ I put together a bag of emergency supplies. It included: 
     ~ Tea light candles
     ~ A box of kitchen matches
     ~ Bottle rockets (sorry Adriana – Steve said the FBI would show up at my door if I tried to mail them to you.)
     ~ An unopened jar of crunchy JIF and an unopened bag of pretzel nuggets – you know, sustenance.
     ~ 2 LED flashlights
     ~ Finn’s leash
     ~ First aid kit

~ I carried down my purse (with car keys) and a sturdy pair of shoes for each of us. (I guess I thought if a tornado did hit, it would leave everything in the basement unscathed, especially my pile of necessities.)

~ I moved the laptop to the basement and plugged it in, too. (Like maybe I could pick up a wifi signal from a neighbor whose home wasn’t sucked away?)

After all that, I grabbed up my cell phone and a can of beer and I stood out on my front porch and watched the drama roll in. By the time it hit Louisville, the wind gusts were down from 90 mph to 45, and the severity they’d been warning about for hours was drastically downgraded. I watched for an hour, but nothing happened and we weren’t even under a tornado warning, so I went to bed around midnight. Jimi was already there, with the local NPR music station playing through our clock radio. “It’ll warn us if we get a tornado warning,” was his logic. Uh huh. Maybe it would’ve but when the Beastie Boys came on, it was time for the radio to go off. Even with earplugs in, I could still hear that noise. (Not that I dislike the Beastie Boys, but they’re not for bedtime.)
There’s one large branch in the middle of my yard, but that’s our only damage. My plastic tables didn’t even blow off the porch.
Psht. “worst storm in decades” indeed.


  1. Pretzels and peanut butter? You're obviously not a force to be reckoned with!! LOL!

  2. Good grief, you really did prepare, didn't you. I drank enough, that I couldn't have cared less by the time it all went down.

  3. My sustenance would have been the same, but I would have included wine... or any alcohol I could get my hands on.

    Glad you remain unscathed.

  4. My husband and I keep a whole tub of emergency supplies down in our basement. So that way if there is an emergency we can just go down there and chill. We also have emergency back packs that are filled with everything we would need in case we needed to just up and go. It includes things like money, fruit snacks, granola bars, toilet paper, toothpaste, tooth brushes, blankets, water bottles tampons and First aid kits (in case debris flies by and hits us along the way and we are in need of first aid gel and band aids) just stuff like that.
    We have all the necessities we need though down in our basement. Unless our house blows away, than we are fucked. But in the mean time at least we have fruit snacks and crossword puzzles to keep us entertained while in the basement. Although the thought of my ex mother in laws house getting blown away and them being shit out of luck is entertaining in of its self.

  5. I think it's fabulous that you were prepared for that awful storm. We were pretty freaked out by it, here in Alabama too. We weren't quite as prepared as you though. We sat in our hallway, hugging our little puppy, eating crackers. I hope you are having a magical weekend.

    Fritzi Marie


Please don't make me cry.


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