I just spent two hours on the phone, first with my sister-cousin Stacy, then with my Momma.
Here's what we talked about (I'll let you try to figure out which conversation was had with which loved-one):
~ Infertility, and what a bad word it is, and how getting pregnant and having babies will happen when it happens
~ I should run for public office. We need an elected official that openly smokes weed and uses 4-letter words. I'll change the world, dammit. Plus, I think it'd be sweet to work for 2 years and then get a retirement and free healthcare for the rest of my life. You know that's the deal we've got going with our House Representatives, right?
~ Gardening and canning and living off the land
~ Starting a commune, and how Momma will be the Princess of Agriculture
~ My brother, and all the good things we want for him
~ Sex, and the realistic frequency of it. Stacy's doctor said a woman is basically only fertile for 13 days a year. Which, to me, means if you manage to get knocked up, CONGRATS!!! You've hit a moving target!!! When they say if you have unprotected sex for a year and don't get pregnant you're infertile, are they only talking about couples who do it five days a week or is their logic inclusive of everyone?
~ Boobs, and how we wish ours were bigger, how big they'll get when we have babies, and how then they'll look like deflated balloons. Oh, and we debated breast implants and I told Stacy that if she got them it meant I would have an open invitation to grope her any time we were in the same room.
~ My dad's claim (before Momma turned up pregnant with me) that he was sterile.
Our conversations were much more interesting before I wrote them down, I fear.