The HR Director called me this morning, and while he waited on the phone, had me get online to find this article, specifically so I could read this:
“But most poignantly, Colton described meeting a sibling in heaven — even though he had no way of knowing that his mother had miscarried two years before he was born, since his parents had never told him.“
Obviously, I made a bad judgment call when I shared that particular piece of myself with Mr. HR. Again, I really do understand that he’s trying to be kind and compassionate and helpful. I know he believes that telling me I could know my child in Heaven is a comfort – but in reality, that topic of conversation makes me uncomfortable. First, I’m not comfortable saying to someone I don’t have a close, interpersonal relationship with, “I don’t believe in your God, or your version of Heaven, but thanks anyhow.” I don’t want to take the time to try to explain my beliefs to this man; I don’t want to feel that I have to defend myself. I don’t want to be told I’m wrong, or that he’ll pray for me, or that one day I’ll see the light. I especially don’t want to have that conversation at work, while I’ve got truck drivers standing in the window, a mechanic sitting in my office, and 3 customers on hold waiting for me to take their calls.
And while I’m comfortable with the fact of miscarriage being briefly touched upon in an exchange, I don’t want to talk about anything that comes too close to the emotional facts of it. Talking about “my child” is too personal. Me and Mr. HR? We ain’t that kind of friends.
One more. He gets one more; the next time he calls and brings up this topic, we’ll have a conversation about appropriateness and couthe. Again, he really should follow that “know your audience” rule.