Saturday, March 19, 2011

Wanna hear what my HR Director said to me the other day?

Of course you do - it's a great story.

Background:  I don't like our HR Director.  He's (in my humble opinion) an idiot who should be declared mentally incompetent by the State and supported via Medicaid and Social Security for the rest of his days.  And then they can give me his job.

Okay.  Now that you know where I'm coming from, I'll commence with the story:

I called him because I needed the pay rate for our employee who'd filed for unemployment so I could respond to said unemployment claim.  Our conversation turned to the sad state of American Work Ethics - he told me he'd been at our facility a few years back, promoting our 401k program (which offers a badass match, by the way) and enrolling interested employees, when he got to talking to a couple of lifers - guys who've been working here for years and who will work here until they die or are able to somehow miraculously retire.  They told him they couldn't afford to put into a 401k, and he was confused; these guys have seniority, with first dibs on OT and such.

"I can't afford to work Overtime," the man told the HR Director, "If I work over 40 hours I'll lose my benefits."

"What benefits?" says Mr. HR.

"Food Stamps, Medicaid, Section 8," came the answers.

It says something that a man can work 40 hours a week for 20 years and still make a wage so low that allows him to qualify for public assistance, but that point is for another day, another post.

Our conversation turned from this blatant abuse of the system (though I'm not certain Mr. HR and I were talking about the same system) to the cost of healthcare, and how most of our employees don't opt into the best plans that are offered due to the cost.  Then we progressed to the cost of catastrophic events, or unplanned medical situations that can present unexpected costs if you're not adequately insured.

I told him about my miscarriage.  I told him about the cost of my RhoGam shot if I'd not been insured.

He made all the appropriate noises; the I'm so sorries and I've experienced that toos - told me about his wife losing twins at around 9 weeks.

And then he said this:

"I believe in God-given visions that come through dreams.  I read a book written by a very Godly woman, (insert her name here - I can't remember it), and she was given a vision from God, and in her vision, she saw Heaven, and she saw Hell.  And in Heaven, there is a room where all the aborted and miscarried fetuses are.  And there are Angels there, sewing together the torn apart and misformed and broken pieces of those children, and the Angels are weeping as they're sewing together those babies.  And those babies will go on to inhabit Christ's Millennial Kingdom, and they will get to grow and become adults.  And if you live a good life, and if you are right with the Lord, you will see your child one day.  You can know your child.  Isn't that wonderful?"

Lesson One, Mr. HR Man:  Know Your Audience.

His intention were good; I realize that, I do.

But dude.


  1. This just adds to my belief that HR people aren't quite right. I think I'll write a book and call it, "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus...HR People Are From Uranis!"

  2. Even if his intentions were good, seriously he should have just shut up. What a morbid vision!

    I also find it comical that he was complaining about the abuses of the welfare system, yet said nothing to the effect that these lifer's aren't making enough money to properly care for themselves.

    Glad that most of the jobs I worked, back when I did work, were small enough companies that they didn't have an HR dept. My last job did and that was quite enough for me. (I am not a team player & I run with scissors and all that, so I didn't fit well lol!)

  3. I believe he was referring to the Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter.


  4. ...sewing together the torn apart and misformed and broken pieces of those children...

    That did not put a pleasant image in my head - I might have nightmares about it tonight

  5. I'm sorry - that really was a quote, though. I promise I didn't come up with those words on my own. :(

  6. Umm...that was disturbing on so many levels. I hope he didn't use that type of comment to comfort his wife on her loss. I agree he was trying to be kind, but wow. Creepy much?

  7. Yikes. I'm right with you there on the "know your audience" bit. Yikes.

    Why...why...why would anyone say that stuff, like...ever?

  8. That's so out of line, I'd really consider taking it to my HR department.

  9. ummm ... awkward! How do you respond to something like that? Good thing it was over the phone and not in person.

  10. For once, even I don't know what to say. I'm sure that once I give this dude's comment more thought, my bitch-wheels will start turning; for now, I'll just chalk what he said up to some dumbass, misguided attempt at some deep-seated spiritual advice.

    Happy Spring sweet lady,


  11. WTH? Aren't you glad that you don't live in his head? Its a dark and scary place. If that thought is something that gives him comfort or solace, *shudder*

    Stopping by FLOB's

  12. So creepy! This makes me feel better about my own crazy HR department. Proof that even the best of intentions can freak you out.

    Oh, and btw, I'm a random stranger who hopped over from FTLOB Comment Love Day. Nice to meetcha!

  13. Wow. Gross and wow.

    I've never liked HR people. They always seem so full of shit.

  14. strange ... very ... strange ...

    ps. hugs regarding ur miscarriage ... I've been there & know what scary & sad time it can be ...

  15. Oh. My. God. That story made me want to laugh and cry at the same time -- I couldn't decide between the two, so I shared it with my husband. He had a similar reaction (apparently HR Man is insane and/or has no idea what's appropriate/not). Just, wow.

    Also, thanks for the comment on my blog! ICLW is pretty great.

  16. The sewing thing is really scary. If angels were sewing things onto my child, I'd be more sad. I also hope he didn't tell his wife "It's okay, honey, there are 13 angels poking our babies with sewing needles as we speak. Isn't that beautiful?" And then she'd be all like "Why?" and he'd be like "to sew on all the broken pieces" and then she'd be like "Um...they were born before term is all. There weren't any broken pieces. I'm so confused lolololol".


Please don't make me cry.


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