I'm starting my own political party. It's called the NAT Party - the National Alliance for Truth.
It's a no bullshit club - you join if you're tired of dirty old men who cheat on their wives telling you that Planned Parenthood is America's Enemy Number One, what with all their affordable HPV screenings and Pap smears and low-cost birth control distribution and (legal!) abortion-providing. You're a NAT Party-member if you want to know why in the fuck our treasury gave billions of dollars in back-door loans to European nations while our government officials directed our attention to the bail-outs of Wall Street tycoons. You're a NAT Party member if you want to know why it's okay for you and your friends to lose your jobs while the people who created this grandfuckery got to keep theirs - and they got bonuses?! WTF?!
I'm just so sick of it all. The people running this country are fucking it up royally, and we, the masses, are such good blind little sheep that we allow them to systematically steal our rights under the guise of restoring family values and protecting us from terrorists.
And about those terrorists. We lost 3000 people on September 11, 2001. Ten years later, how many hundreds of thousands have died in their names? Who're really the terrorists in this scenario? The only difference is we do it under the banner of justice. You know what? There's no such thing as justice when a woman's child is blown to bits because she happens to be unlucky enough to live in a place where someone thought some bad guys were living. We've destroyed countless lives, on all sides. Osama ain't got nothing on our pal George.
Here are some things the NAT Party supports:
Constitutional-ism - Specifically, those parts about equality for all and separation of church and state.
Fiscal Responsibility - if elected President, I would fill my Treasury department with stay-at-home mothers who've managed shoestring household budgets. Fuck your PhDs, I want life experience. Ain't no Momma in the world that'd buy a $600 toilet seat. Give me a few hundred moms and 100 days, I'll give you a balanced budget.
Healthcare for All - I propose an immediate cancellation of all government-sponsored medical programs for all elected government officials - they must find and pay for medical coverage for themselves and their families, same way you and I do. This would remain in effect until they were able to pass a healthcare bill that would provide medical coverage for ALL Americans, and then they would be covered under the terms of that plan. I honestly believe this catalyst would bring swift, effective results. (This would end Medicare and Medicaid, too. And I'd find a way to force pharmaceutical companies to play ball, too, and the days of "I can't afford my medicine" would be fucking over.)
Education - Nothing pisses me off more than hearing a politician scream "Think of our grandchildren!" right before he proposes a bill that cuts education spending. Hey George - you know how much college those bombs could've paid for?! Anyhow, our system is in dire condition these days, and needs some money and common sense thrown its way. (The Moms will find the money, I'm sure of it!)
I'm just so fucking sick of the bullshit. Have you ever had a job where they threw that teamwork stuff at you and reminded you "You're only as strong as your weakest link"? There's some validity to that little cliche' - how can we claim to be the "land of the free and the home of the brave" when our people are chained by debt and unemployment, and terrified because their government tells them to be so?