I don't know why I set myself up for failure. I knew when I was typing my resolutions that I wasn't going to follow through with all of them. Two weeks later and I've not finished making a budget (and I'm broke - surprise!), I've not exercised, I've not taken a picture every day. But I've also not smoked, which, I'll be honest, shocks me more than all failures combined. I want to, I do, but I don't dare bum - I've gotten this far, you know?
I've been talking about digging the treadmill out from its grave of boxes for days. Talking, not doing. Just like everything else.
Glennon at Momastery did it again; she wrote something that stirred my soul. It's called Namaste. "The Divinity within me perceives and adores the Divinity within you." What a concept. So I tried it today - taking a breath before every interaction, remembering that everyone I meet is fighting a battle I can't see, speaking kindly, the Divinity in me, to the Divinity in them. And you know what? I had a good day. On a Monday.
Of course, on my way home, I realized that since today is Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, probably a lot of my customers were closed and maybe that's why the phone didn't ring off the hook like it normally does, meaning I had time to get some things accomplished and caught up and I didn't get frustrated or overwhelmed.
But maybe it was because I approached the day, and everyone in it, with a different attitude than on most days. I need to remember this. I need to practice this. We all should.
I keep almost typing "I'm going to clear off the treadmill for sure tonight", but then I'm all "STFU, Natalie. You're all talk. Save it for later, when you can say 'I cleared off the treadmill and walked 2 miles tonight', biotch". And speaking of walking miles...Jimi's employer has some sort of competition going on wherein employees (broken into teams) are rewarded for walking X miles each week. So MistaJimi himself walked a mile after work this afternoon - Jimi, my Jimi, who often refuses to to walk with me because "walking is boring". He originally told me he was going to be walking with Barb, and I was all "WTF? You'll walk with your work-wife, but not with me?!" and I was going to give him all sorts of shit. Then, ....
Okay, since I put that comma there, I got up to hug that boy, got motivated, and we together cleared off the treadmill and rearranged things and now I have a place to walk that is not outside and cold. YAY!
I have told you where the treadmill came from? The people who sold us the house left it here. Along with a washer and dryer and a dresser and a big ol' deep iron sink that I can't imagine what we'll ever find use for. So yeah, the treadmill came with the house. It's not fancy or anything - it's about a million years old - but it works, and really, that's all that matters, right? I won't be able to measure calories burned or miles walked, but I'll be able to walk and maybe even run on it. And Jimi's moving the television down there so I can watch things while I walk.
Skinny me, here I come. Well. That might be pushing it. Skinnier than I am right now me, here I come. That's more like it.
Oh, and Jimi taught me how to correctly pronounce Namaste, so today has been quite a day indeed.
And now I'm going to go read that Stephen King book I borrowed from Stacy while I walk on the treadmill for a few chapters. And drink another beer. Not bad for a Monday...not bad at all.