Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Let's talk about Me.

Okay, I swear to goodness I came up with that title BEFORE the effing bullshit excuse for a country song came into my head, but now I'm going to have to listen to that piece of crap before it'll go away.


Anyhow.  Back to me.

I'm like my favorite subject ever.  Obviously.  I mean, HELLO!  What else are we doing here, right?  

I think on my "about me" page I wrote something about how when I was a little girl, I had a fantasy wherein I was, of course, a Princess, and every morning paper's headline involved some mundane activity I'd performed the day before.  Let me give you a few examples of headlines my 6-year-old, 7-year-old, 8-year-old selves created:

Mr. Bubble and Aqua Barbie are in Attendance

Final Score:  Mom: 1, Princess Natalie: 8

Wait 'til You See These Shoes!

I love being the center of attention, and this is nothing new, and it probably always will be.  

And then I see these chicks with these blogs with a millionandahalf followers and they do these little "ask me anything" blog posts and get ahundredeleventyeight comments/questions and I'm all "Gawddangit I wish I could do something like that" but then I remember that I've pretty much told everyone everything about me already and that no one actually cares anyhow.  

But still, I thought it would be cool if I told you guys what kind of questions I'd like to get if someone out there ever for any reason thought about me in the middle of brushing their teeth or wiping their kid's ass or driving to the DMV to renew their tags and wondered "How did...?" or "What about...?" or "Who was...?".  

Again, I understand I'm living inside my own little world here.  Humor me for a minute, would ya?

Questions I want you guys to ask me when I get up the balls to assume any of you give a shit and post a "ask me anything" blog entry, wherein I will promise to answer any and all inquiries at a later date:

1.  What do you love about Jimi?  
(Because I keep meaning to write a post about how awesome he is, 
but I never quite manage to get around to it.  Too busy talking about ME!)

2.  What are your favorite things about you?  
(Because I'm really good at telling you what I'm bad at.  
It's harder to say good things about myself, 
but really, I should be nicer to me.)

3.  If you had a million dollars to spend however you wished, 
how would you spend it?  
(Who doesn't love that game?)

4.  What's your happiest memory?  
(I don't know what I'd pick, 
but it'd be a good trip down memory lane, right?)

5.  If you could change one thing about yourself, 
physically or mentally, 
what would you change?  
(Another one I don't know how I'd answer.)

6.  How did you get to be so awesome?  
(That's my ego talking again.)

7.  Can I pay off your mortgage for you?  
(A girl can dream, right?)

8.  I own a publishing company - can I publish your first book? 
(May as well dream big.)

9.  (Insert any question wherein you ask me something about me.)

Okay, getting a little carried away, I guess.  My bad.  But you get what I'm saying, right?  

I just want you all to think I'm awesome.  That's all.  And to care about every little detail in my life.  Cool?  



  1. We should do one of those posts like the emails your 'friends' would send out that had a zillion ridiculous questions, then you would copy & paste and then add your own answers and email it to a zillion of your 'friends' so they too could waste away hours of their work day. Except we should come up with better questions than those. You will send me yours and I will post it and I can send your mine to post and our combined 35 followers (that makes me look sad) can wonder, who the hell is this bitch?! Oh!Oh!Oh! Then we can send it to other bloggers and we'll start annoying chain letters! MMAWHAHAHAH

    OK. I am done. I look a sleeping pill. I am loopy, yes, but don't think that's an excuse. Just tell me to shut my whore mouth.

  2. I just wanted you to know that even though I haven't responded to this yet, I am going to in great detail tomorrow.

  3. Natalie, Natalie, Natalie.
    I just got home from work, I got a drink, a cigarette (I'm sorry, I feel bad even typing a comment to you while smoking, but at least I am honest) and some music playing. I am going to respond to this blog post like there's no tomorrow. We are going to talk all about the great and wonderful Natalie. I'm sorry that should all be capitalized since it is your Megan given title. The Great and Wonderful Natalie aka Natalie the Awesome.

    Why wouldn't you love to talk about yourself? After all your entire world revolves around yourself. And you're in luck because you have a pretty good person to be revolving around. After all you are one of my favorite people as of right now.

    I don't think you should be upset because you're not one of those chicks with the blogs with a millionandahalf followers. You're so much better than them. You're a genuine, wonderful, interesting person. That's a lot better than some girl who advertises herself constantly just to get any sort of attention possible.

    Also, I think it's adorable that you fantasized about being Princess Natalie. I really do. That made me giggle quite a bit.

    So, now I am going to ask you a TON of questions all about you. And you're going to answer them all because I genuinely want to know.

    How did you meet Jimi?

    What's your favorite thing about Jimi?

    If you had to eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?

    What's your favorite cereal? (This it the first question I usually ask people when I first meet them. I don't know why)

    If you could be any animal what would you be?

    What about an inanimate object?

    When you look in the mirror, what is the one thing that you look at the most?

    What is your favorite physical feature of yourself?

    What is your greatest strength?

    What is the best song you've ever heard?

    What are your hidden talents? (For example, I can chirp like a cricket)

    When you grow old, what kind of old lady do you want to be?

    What's your favorite item of clothing?

    When you think about your life, what is one thing that makes you laugh, no matter what?

    If you could meet anyone in the entire world alive or dead, who would it be?

    When the Zombie Apocalypse comes, what will be your weapon of choice?

    What's your biggest fear?

    What are your pet peeves?

    What would your dream date be?

    What's the strangest name you've ever given a pet?

    List five things you want to do before you die.

    What's the first thing you think about most mornings?

    If I don't stop, I will ask four million questions.

  4. Megan, you make me laugh so hard and I love you!

    You're so awesome.


Please don't make me cry.


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...