I wrote this post the other night, in a fit of self-obsession and narcissism. Megan left me the most awesome comment - something she's making a habit of doing lately, actually. She's so good for my ego! ;)
Megan, thanks for making me feel super special and awesome and cool. :)
How did you meet Jimi?
We were vague acquaintances. I sat across from him at a bar, at a table full of mutual friends, and he looked at me and said, "I'm still prettier than you." I was all "WTF?!" Apparently, we'd met at that same bar, at that same table, a week before, and had quite the debate about which of us was the prettier one. I'd insisted that I was a pretty princess, and he had agreed, like any gentleman would, but gently, unbendingly, remained firm in his conviction and declaration that he was, by his very nature, simply a very pretty man - so pretty, in fact, that no one was as pretty as him. Somehow, some way, I have no recollection whatsoever of that conversation; I can recite it for you only because it is one that Jimi and I have had many, many times since, and one that we had again that first night that I count as our first REAL meeting. He kept saying "that's exactly what you said last week - but I'm still prettier," which frustrated and amused and intrigued the shit out of me.
I don't think he was intending to flirt with me that night - he was just being Jimi. But I liked him instantly, so I did what any girl would do - I followed him around the bar like a puppy dog for the rest of the night, got fucked up on vodka shots, convinced myself that I was being just the right amount of flirty. Then I got really bold and told him he had great lips. And that he was probably a great kisser. Then, while we were sitting right there at the bar, I kissed him. Not a bullshit kiss, either.
And then we went out to his truck, which was parked in the attached parking garage, and we made out in the front seats for the next three and a half hours. Maybe I would've slept with him, if either of us had been carrying a condom, but we weren't, so we just made out. For three and a half hours. And then he drove me home.
What's your favorite thing about Jimi?
He's an incredibly good man. He helps me strive to be a better person.
If you had to eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?
What's your favorite cereal? (This it the first question I usually ask people when I first meet them. I don't know why)
When I was a kid, it was Cap't Crunch with Crunch Berries or Cookie Crisp. Then in my early 20s, it was Basic 4 - I really like the fruit/nut element. These days I'm loving some Special K with Strawberries and Frosted Mini Wheats.
If you could be any animal what would you be?
I want to be a monkey. All the swinging and the climbing and mischief and poo-flinging and the bananas - it'd be a charmed life.
What about an inanimate object?
I wouldn't like that at all. Do I have to?
When you look in the mirror, what is the one thing that you look at the most?
Bathroom mirror - my nose...do I have any boogers?
Full-length mirror - my belly ..."okay, so i have to remember to hold my posture and suck in just this much..."
What is your favorite physical feature of yourself?
I don't know. Probably my eyes. With makeup.
What is your greatest strength?
I'm really really good at finding the silver lining.
What is the best song you've ever heard?
I don't know how I'd begin to try to pick one best - I have too much love for too many.
What are your hidden talents? (For example, I can chirp like a cricket)
I don't know if I have any hidden talents. I asked Jimi, and he said "If you do, you've been hiding them from me."
When you grow old, what kind of old lady do you want to be?
OMG, I want to be the sort of old lady who tells it like it is with no fear, who will still drink a beer or smoke a bowl, who wears funky socks and crazy hats and tells true stories that no one believes could be true because they're so crazy.
What's your favorite item of clothing?
My footie pajamas. I wish they were considered acceptable clothing in public.
When you think about your life, what is one thing that makes you laugh, no matter what?
The unpredictability of it; how nothing has turned out the way I thought it would - nothing at all - yet I still feel like I'm exactly where I belong. Life is funny.
If you could meet anyone in the entire world alive or dead, who would it be?
Meet, or hang out and have a nice long discussion with? Cause if we only get a "hey, how ya doin'?", I don't know who I'd pick. If we get to sit down and have a talk, I'd totally pick Jesus. I want the truth, straight from the source. I think he could probably clear some things up for me.
When the Zombie Apocalypse comes, what will be your weapon of choice?
Ideally, some sort of firearm. A handgun with an extended clip would be nice, but I'd settle for a rifle with a couple belts of ammo. :)
What's your biggest fear?
Death. Dying before I've done the things I want to do, or having to bury those I love. Fuck death.
What are your pet peeves?
Incorrect usage of their, there, they're, you're, your.
Bad customer service.
Drivers who don't share the road.
What would your dream date be?
Hmm...can a week in Thailand, spent in a hut on the beach, count as a date?
What's the strangest name you've ever given a pet?
I named my first dog Susie Q Kay Sims. Susie Q because the CCR song came on as Daddy was driving us home from the shelter where we'd picked her out, and then I gave her my middle and last names because she was mine. It's always been about me. :)
List five things you want to do before you die.
make, birth, and raise a child to become a productive member of society
publish a book
travel - a lot
earn a college degree
Plant and harvest a garden large enough to provide almost all of our vegetables for an entire year
What's the first thing you think about most mornings?
I promise on earth, but in Heaven Above? Whoa. We will weep. The gloriousness of what I'm propos'n to you here is beyond gorgeousness. Lemme asketh of thee a favour, a favour in the Great Beyond. Not here, not now, of course. But, yet, would you allow SIX things in Heaven just between us? Feeding you delicious baklava? Giving you a looong backrub? Brush'n your hair? Kissing your adorable feet which brot you to the Great Beyond? Holding your hands and being one with you? I’d love that and I think you would, too. Think about that. Get back to me Upstairs, girl. God bless.ReplyDelete
I am so glad you actually answered these. It's great. I love the way that you and Jimi met. So much of this made me laugh.ReplyDelete
The Walking Dead has made me reconsider firearms in case of Zombie Apocalyspe. They are loud and draw attention. I'm thinking the ingenuity of the Lobo from World War Z is what will be most handy. Firearms will become backups to be used only in extreme emergency.ReplyDelete
See, I thought about that, but I don't want to get that close. I'll stick to the handgun, then, with a silencer. And really, I'm still pretending the zombies will be dumb and not follow gunfire sounds. And I guess I assume me and my peeps will be the only live ones around, or that no one other than zombies will harbor any ill will toward us. I live in a fantasy land. I'll taste delicious.ReplyDelete