My house is sad tonight.
Well, Steve stopped by earlier, and that was good and it was great to see our friend again.
But there was sad hanging all over the fucking place.
I left work late tonight; of course, because I've been gone for 5 days and there was lots of work, right? Not really. I was bullshitting with my boss because I had to pick Jimi up because his truck battery was dead and he didn't even get off work till 5:30 which meant it was pointless for me to leave the office before 20 after.
Right on cue, at 20 after, I was gathering my things and glanced at my phone. I'd missed a call from Jimi's sister. Hmm. That's odd.
I called her back. She sounded...off. I fucking knew it.
It took me literally a minute to process the words she was saying - I was very confused. "Laura Jo" "Husband" "died" huh?
Eventually, I understood. Jimi's cousin, Laura Jo, whose father hosts our Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners every year, her husband, Rick, had a massive heart attack Tuesday. There was an issue with finding contact information for Jimi's side of the family, everyone was only just notified today - everyone being Jimi's sister, then his younger brother, then me, and I was to tell Jimi.
Jimi's dealt with a lot of death and loss in his life - his whole family has. I guess that's what you say about a family when the parents are both gone, victims of that bastard cancer and its horrible wrath. I don't know that sort of loss - to me it seems insurmountable, the ultimate loss, unless you're talking the loss of a spouse or child, and both of those also seem insurmountable and unreal to me. I'm kinda hoping they all always do appear that way in my view. I'll be happy if me and mine could just work out a way to live forever.
Jimi's on the phone with his brother (younger brother, not the brother we visited this weekend). There is sad hanging over my house and I can't fix it.
I want to hug it all better. I can't fix this and it sucks.
And Laura Jo. I can't put myself where she is. I ache for her, and I will hold Jimi closer to me tonight. Even if he has onion breath.
I hate this part.