Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Wah wah wat wha wah

The world ended last night.  And I'm pretty sure I made out with some scrawny pirate-looking dude, but it's okay, because later I killed him.

We were at a party, and the world shifted.  We didn't know what had happened, or how, only that all of a sudden, everything was different and we were no longer enjoying the party, we were trying to decide who we could trust so we could make our escape and try to get to safety.  From the second-floor veranda, we could see smoke from fires in the distance.  The roads were choked, traffic lights out, but not as many people were wandering the streets as you'd expect - we guessed the ones we didn't see were probably dead.

Pirate man was some sort of boss, and he'd been making eyes at me all night.  After the shit hit the fan, I had to employ whatever tactics necessary to get us out of there safely, so I did what any reasonably creative chick would do - I made him think I was going to have sex with him and then I killed him instead.  I didn't get any weapons from him, but his death made our escape possible, and before we knew it, we were on our way home. I haven't told Jimi yet, but I'm confident he'll understand.

I can't remember where we got the plane or what we did with the car, but none of that really matters now as they're both useless - the car was out of gas, and the plane...well, we ditched the plane into the river to get a closer look at this factory.  There were hills and shit all around us anyhow - we were going to find ourselves with empty tanks before we found a flat place to land.  I must say, when my ex-husband was teaching me how to fly his dad's plane, I thought it was just a novelty - I never realized it would one day help save my life.  And water landings aren't nearly as scary as they look if you're expecting it.  The hardest part was accepting that I'd probably killed a few innocents, but dammit, if one of us has to die, I'd rather it be them than me.  What are all these people doing in the water, anyhow?  It's like a lazy river up in here, people floating by in giant tubes and rafts and on doors and shit.  Where are the boats and canoes and kayaks?  How did people manage to get their floats blown up?  All the electricity is out.

The hole in the foundation of the building told us it probably had been abandoned for a while, and we were right - it had been claimed as shelter by few guys and a gal who had an awesome stock of emergency and survival equipment.  I'm not sure why they took a liking to us and let us stay, but when that flotilla of strapped-together rowboats crept by, the didn't slit our throats when we took defensive positions and readied our weapons to fight along side them.  A chunky girl who was probably 35 but looked 20, with short brown curls that clung close to her long, rectangular head, appeared in the hole where a window used to be - she was out of the boats and on the ledge.  She wore a yellow dress covered with small pink flowers, and her double chin hung down so low it rested on her chest.  She disappeared from the window, acting as if she'd not seen us, but I knew she had, and I crept along the wall, just on the opposite side from her, and when she turned to enter the doorway, i drove that battery-powered drill bit up through that double chin, through the roof of her mouth, and into her brain.  She was not going to ruin my day.  The floating caravan continued upriver, uncaring that they'd lost one of their own, or unwilling to risk their own hides to check on her.  We continued organizing the well-stocked supplies our new-found friends were generously offering to share.

And then I woke up.

Pretty sure I can blame this on the fact that I'm currently reading "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies".  Almost certain.

Jimi's reading it too; I hope he got enough sleep last night to have dreams.  (I doubt it, though - his shoulder has been hurting him something awful, and he woke me up screaming at 3 a.m. because he'd gone to roll over and had somehow tweaked it the wrong way.  Poor guy.  It's not bad enough for surgery, but PT and cortisone haven't helped.  Boo.)

My week's been pretty fantastic so far.  No plans for that to change any time soon.  It's almost the weekend - and a long weekend at that.  YAY!  Looks like we're camping.  I love that, except for the getting-ready, packing-up, loading-up, assembling, taking-down, packing-up, unpacking, washing-everything-again parts.  The part in the middle, where we're camping and doing nothing, that part is awesome and fantastic and ALMOST worth the trouble of all the rest.

I ate an avocado for the first time yesterday.  Well, it wasn't the first time I've ever had avocado, but it was the first time I've cut one in half, removed the pit, and sat down with a spoon to eat one.  I loved it!  I want more!  I went to Valu Market last night and was going to buy some more...but they were, I shit you not, $2.69 each.  Holy shit, $2.69 for an avocado?!  I read a blog post just the other day wherein one of my bloggy friends bemoaned the fact that her man eats a $2 avocado every day.  I can't remember what I paid for the one I bought, but I promise it wasn't $2.69.  I hate Valu Market.  Highway robbery.  It's some bullshit.  Know what makes me maddest?  The neighborhood served by that market is mostly made up of recent immigrants - I feel like they're being taken advantage of.  $0.69 bananas, $3.50 gallons of milk, $3.69 taco kits.  I hate that store, and I just decided I'll never shop there again.  (Unless I just need beer or water chestnuts or baby corns - their prices on beer and canned Asian vegetables are pretty reasonable.)

Do you dream?  Do you remember details of your dreams?  Do your dreams have recurring themes?  What did you dream about last night?    Talk to me, people!

Oh, and Happy Hump Day!

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