Last time I checked, the thermostat in the hallway read 69 degrees. With the windows open and a breeze flowing and the AC finally off after running non-stop for the better part of the last 3 months. Welcome, September! It's downright cool outside, and my toes froze in my flipflops when I ran out to the grocery to pick up milk and juice and waffles and yogurt this morning. The last few weekend-morning trips to the grocery have involved shorts and flipflops and sweating. Oh, I'm so glad fall is almost here!
The sky is blue and beautiful. The air is crisp. Finn-dog is loving laying in the long grass (we've only managed to cut 2/3 of the yard this week), basking in the sun, and every time I go to the door and try to call him inside, he looks at me, sits, and then looks away. As if to say, "You're joking, right? Have you SEEN how nice it is out here? I'm going to pretend I didn't hear you."
I'm in the living room in my long pants and my old t-shirt, and my snuggie. I told you it was chilly in here. I wish I was still in bed, but realizing that the only food I ate yesterday was an order of Dairy Queen biscuits & gravy in the morning and a spoonful of pulled pork at Karen't party last night motivated me to get up and go to the Valu Market to get some breakfast/hangover cure necessities. My body wasn't going to stop feeling like shit until I fed it something. And gave it some vitamins and nutrients and stuff. I still may go back to bed. I feel better, but man, I shouldn't have mixed beer and tequila and jello shots. OH! And vodka...I forgot about my after-work party-pre-gaming. If i'm pregnant, I've just pickled my fetus.
Did I mention that I'm slightly concerned I might possibly be knocked up? I don't follow my cycle closely enough to know if I'm a week late, or if I'm not due to start until today-ish. I've been cramping for a week, light, short cramps that are not normal unless I'm menstruating, but I'm not, so that's weird. And my boobs hurt. And have all week. That's a little abnormal, too. But I've not spent $20 on a pregnancy test because every time I've done that it was for nothing and a waste of my $20 and I'm pretty convinced after 2.5 years of unprotected sex and no Oopsies! that one or both of us is infertile. So I, the Queen of Impatience, decided I would wait until tomorrow, and if I hadn't started my period by then, I'd go spend $20 on a pregnancy test and find out for certain one way or the other. But I'm certain that won't be necessary, as surely if I were pregnant, I'd already know, right? Like I would've dreamed of some little baby coming up and introducing himself and being all "I'm your kid, my name's Joe" or something. I promise when I start, I won't come and blog about it. We'll just pretend this entire conversation never happened, okay?
I'm probably a real asshole for even having a question and still getting smashed last night. You know what? I smoked cigarettes all night, too. And I called Karen's mom by her ex-girlfriend's name, and then went and told the new girlfriend what I'd done and she was all "You're kidding, right? That's AWFUL!" and she meant it. And then Randy agreed and smacked my face (gay Randy, not my dad Randy). And I haven't been taking multivitamins every day because I can't always remember. I'm a total asshole.
We're supposed to camp this weekend, but I backed out at the last minute and then we decided we'd go after all and then we were just going to drive up tomorrow for the pig roast but then we found out the pig roast is today and when we found that out, Jimi really wanted to go camping and we'd talked about just getting up and getting going today but now I'm hungover, he's still in bed at 11 o'clock, and all I want to do is take a nap. It's a beautiful weekend for camping, but i don't want all the work that goes along with it. I don't want to set up a tent, I don't want to pee behind trees, I don't want to wash dishes in cold water. I do want to have a big fire, though, and sit around it with my friends and smell the campfire smells and cook meat on sticks. That part's always good. I don't know what we're going to do, but the longer Jimi sleeps, the more the chances of us packing up and heading out dwindle. I'm fine with that. I want to take the dog for a walk in the park...a nice long walk. And i want that nap.