Thursday, November 17, 2011

I'm gonna complain, but I'll try to keep it brief.

I spent 30 minutes driving around looking for a customer's office - an office I've been to before, but apparently I cannot retrace my steps. I finally said "fuck it, I'll find it later" and moved on to the next customer, and now I'm home, and after Googling, i think I've found the correct address and will be able to make my visit on my way back to work.  (I called and asked my Admin. Assistant to find the alternate address and/or directions for me, and she failed and gave up.  I'm a little grumpy about that, and will probably end up saying something bitchy once I get back to work.  I mean, seriously, i'd never call MY boss and be all, "Um, well, no one's answering the phone and the address you have is the only one I've found..."  Yeah.  Right.  Besides, I FOUND another address on the Google.  My Google at home is no better than her Google at work.)

Ugh.  Anyhow.

I booked our spa appointments this morning; Stacy and I will spend her 30th birthday being rubbed and scrubbed and cleansed and moisturized.  I can hardly wait.  It's her birthday, but I feel like taking the day off and going for a massage and facial is just as much a gift to myself - I need it!  And really, what better way to kick off the holidays?

You ever feel like you need to take a time out, pause the world, take a moment to regroup and start fresh?  I just need time to stand still for a day or two, so I can work non-stop to get my house spotless, my laundry folded, my pantry stocked, my dishes put away.  And at work, my files would be updated and organized, projects would be finished, memos sent out, meetings scheduled and planned...I just need everything to stop for a few days, just two or three, so I can get it all to the point where I can manage it day to day.

I feel very overwhelmed.  Overwhelmed by how much I need to do, and so I freeze and do nothing.  (Well, not at work.  That's not an option at work.  But I never make any headway - I get done what has to get done to keep things running, but the projects and the updating, that all gets pushed to the side, and having all of that sitting over there, staring at's freaking me right the fuck out.)

Sometimes it's just all so much.

I don't remember the last time I felt like I had it all together, though.  I say that, but maybe it's not true.  We had the house looking awesome not too long ago.  And before my workload exploded in September, I was starting to see light at the end of the tunnel and room to wiggle and move on those projects.

It'll come again.  Deep breath.  One thing at a time.  Piece by piece, it'll come together.  It'll all work out.  It's all gonna be just fine.

I need a nap.

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