Thursday, October 14, 2010

Thank God I can see all the beauty.

I was sitting on my front porch, in the corner, with my book in my lap, a cigarette in one hand and a beer in the other.  I wasn't reading; I was staring out across our front yard, at the big beautiful trees that are finally showing their fall wardrobes.  The water maple on the left has a fungus of some sort that Steve says is completely harmless, though unattractive, as it manifests in black spots on the leaves of the tree.  So now that the green leaves have turned to a beautiful gold and orange, they look like they're polka-dotted.  I was lamenting this fact, picturing their magnificence that could have been if only the former owners of this home had raked the leaves before they vacated the premises last fall.  

Not that I'm planning to rake the leaves this year.  This yard is huge.  I can already feel the blisters that would result. I'll live with a polka dotted tree.  

Anyhow, I was enjoying the beauty, though mottled, of the water maple on the left.  Then I moved to the rich yellows that were coming through on the birch in the middle of the yard, ending with the water maple on the right, wondering when those reds were going to appear on more branches.  

And I went back to the spotted tree that is closest to the busy road.  And those damned spots.  And I thought "Oh well, thank God I can see all the beauty."

Maybe it's not such a profound thought, but it seemed profound to me.  One, because I struggle with what my beliefs toward "God" are exactly.  (We'll talk about that one of these days, but not today.)  I was thankful that I could literally SEE the beauty - that my vision is good enough that from my corner of the front porch, I could look out across our big yard and see the individual leaves that make up that beautiful tree; that i could see the spots on the individual leaves.  I was thankful that I have a life that's not so crazy and busy that I have time to sit on my front porch and take in all the pretty around me - that I could SEE the beauty, and not pass it by and treat it like background scenery that's just there, rather than something to be enjoyed and appreciated.

And then Jimi got home, and I was able to see all the beauty in him - his love, his laugh, his smile, his bright eyes, his kindness, his goodness.

And then he brought me chicken, and if you can't see the beauty in fried chicken, well, there's no help for you.  

And then it rained, finally, for the first time in weeks and weeks, and there's something uniquely beautiful about a big gray storm cloud rolling across the fiery-colored trees, with the wind blowing and the streaks of lightening...

There's so much beauty in the world.  Thank God I can see it. 

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