Saturday, October 2, 2010

Just say no.

I'm supposed to pick up my 21 year old brother in an hour or so.  I'm supposed to babysit him for the weekend, because he can't be trusted to stay in my parents' home while they're out of town for the weekend without stealing something, breaking something, destroying/damaging something, or doing something illegal that could cause my parents to lose said house.

I wonder what it'd be like to be a 21 year old "man" who can be trusted to stay home alone for the weekend?  Or to need a babysitter.  Or to know that no one wants to babysit you because they don't really want you in their house either, because you may break something, steal something, destroy/damage something, or do something illegal.  And to not be able to have a conversation with people because the dope you're on has effed up your brain so much you can no longer form coherent sentences.  

Man, it would suck to be that person.  It sure does suck to have him as a brother.  It's sad and heartbreaking and depressing and scary.

I keep telling myself its the drugs.  That he isn't really such a shitty person.  But man, I don't know how much I believe my own words.  When he says that he doesn't mess with pills or meth or coke or the other "hard" stuff, I want to believe him, but if it's true, and he's really just a bad person, that sucks.  But if he's lying, and it is an addiction to which he won't admit that makes him steal and lie and cheat and generally treat everyone around him like shit, well, that sucks, because he's not doing anything to get any help.  

I don't know what the answer is.  I know it sucks to be on this end, and it sucks even worse to be where my parents are.  And his life?  His life is going to be full of disappointment and struggle.  

Don't do drugs, kids.  Don't do drugs.  

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Please don't make me cry.


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