The shop where we purchased the dresses has apparently experienced chicks like me before - they've got this nifty little policy that says if you pay them an extra $10, you can return your too-small (or too-big, I guess) dress and they'll order the correct size.
A dress that fits me will be in next week. Problem solved!
I'm not giving up, I'm being realistic. I was nearly having a panic attack every time I thought about it - about how awful I was going to look with one of those zip-in panels, or worse, having to tell my friend that I can't do it because I can't wear the dress I bought for the occasion. That's not really an option, you know? It's kind of a big deal, a person's wedding.
I feel like a total quitter, but I don't care. That dress will zip come mid-October, and I'm not going to starve, lose sleep, or have to get back liposuction. And I can still work my butt off and get skinny again - but I won't have the lingering "I hate myself" guilt if I eat an extra 100 calories throughout the day.
Completely off subject, but can I mention how much I absolutely hate smelling other people's shit? Some truck driver came into the office yesterday and asked to use the bathroom. I didn't think anything of it - until he was gone for 10 minutes. When he finally came out, a waft of stink followed him down the hall, into the vestibule, and out the door. "Oh fuck," I thought. I went searching for the air freshener, getting a quick tendril of stink every now and then, which helped keep me focused on my mission. I finally found the spray in Kim's office and made my way back down the hall toward the source of the offensive odor.
The bathroom door was ajar by about 6 inches, and the light and fan were on inside. I held my breath and approached, Oust can held out directly in front of me. I reached my arm only just inside the door and held down the nozzle - and then I had to take a breath in
I woke up on the floor of the hallway, gagging and with tears streaming down my cheeks. Okay, I didn't really pass out, but I may as fucking well have. Jesus Mary and Dominic, that man must've been full of pure unadulterated evil and it was escaping from his asshole.
I really hate smelling other people's shit.
And then Kim got to work. "Before you even go into your office, I want you to walk down the hall and stick your head in the men's room and take a big whiff," I instructed, honestly believing she would do it without question.
"What, did someone take a big shit?" Why was she not walking down the hall?
"Yes. OMG YES."
"And you WANTED ME TO SMELL IT?! Thanks a lot, Friend."
"Only because you were hiding the air freshener in your office! I nearly died searching for it!"
I'm so happy Friday is here. This has been the longest 4-day workweek EVAR. I'm over it, and I need to recharge. If I could call in sick today, I'd do it. Oh well. I'm going to focus on the good. It'll all be fine. Every little thing gonna be alright.