Life feels like sunshine and kittens right now.
Jimi is everything I could have ever dreamed up, but so much better than what my limited imagination could've come up with. He asked me a few days ago to find him a few dad-to-be books, and when I placed the order tonight and told him they'll be here Wednesday, he exclaimed, "Daddy books?! Yay!" with genuine glee in his voice. He's pampering me in just the right ways, and forgiving with extra swiftness my crazy mood shifts. He laughs at my cravings as he goes along with my every meal suggestion. He tells me even more than usual how much he loves me, and how special I am in his heart. I feel so fucking safe. I feel so incredibly loved.
Daily, a moment will flick a switch in my mind, and I'm instantly reminded of how amazingly fortunate I am to be right here, at this exact place in time, with this exact set of circumstances. I don't know why I get to be the recipient of all of this, why I am wallowing in plenty when so many struggle just to have enough.
My life is a dream I couldn't have dreamed better if I'd dreamed it myself. If I'm sleeping, never wake me.
I had another baby dream Friday night. A fussy little boy wrapped up in yellow and bright blue, trying to suckle at my breast, being passed from my Mom to my Aunts and back around again. I still didn't get a good look at his face, but I could tell he was way cute.
Momma brought us our first baby gift today - a book to record milestones, from pregnancy through 5 years. "You probably won't fill it out, but maybe you will," she said as she handed it to me. (Neither Brother nor I has a baby book from our formative years - she started one for each of us, but didn't get far.) I'm going to make an effort. We'll see how far I get.
I did not mean to stay up this late. Time for sleeps. Sweet dreams!