Tuesday, February 14, 2012

We don't do Valentine's Day

I'm not anti-Valentine's Day.  I don't think.  I love love.  The world needs more love more than it needs anything else - more love = more compassion, more giving, more good.  Right?  But Valentine's Day isn't my holiday.

I kinda want to care.  I do.  I always find myself a smidge disappointed at the end of the night on 2/14 when no flowers were delivered to work, no cards were brought home, no special surprises were planned.  But just a smidge.  It's always nice to have one day set aside to make you feel special and loved, right? 

I get that pretty regularly, though.  Not the flowers or the cards or special surprises, but the love.  The "I re-routed the plumbing in the bathroom and put in a new sink" sort of love.  The "I cleaned the bathroom and threw in a load of laundry" or "here, I brought you a Moon Pie" sort of love.  Jimi's really good at the "let's dance in the living room" and "whatever makes you happy, sweetheart" version of romance. 

I guess Valentine's Day feels a little too forced, a little too "if you don't do this, you don't really love me".  It just doesn't work for us, for me.

Besides, I'd much rather him spend that money taking me out to dinner on a night when there's not a million other couples doing the same thing, or surprise me with flowers on a day that ISN'T Valentine's Day (when they're like half the price), or re-glazing the bathtub.  Is that unromantic?  Too practical?  Whatever.  It's how I feel. 


  1. My love for Valentine's Day died a couple years ago when my hubby (now ex) told me he didn't have money to take me out for dinner because he spent his cash buying himself work out equipment.

    (no big mystery on why he's my ex now, right?)

    I agree with what you wrote about it feeling forced though. Love should be expressed freely whenever and wherever it deems itself worthy!

    1. Confession: The last time I got flowers on Valentine's Day was in 2006, two weeks before my (now ex-)husband asked for a divorce. It's completely possible I'm just jaded.

  2. Same here. Please note, I've been married for 34 years. <3

  3. That's how I feel too girl! I honestly think Valentine's comes in handy for people who don't show their love very often... but in our relationship it is such a daily thing that I really don't expect anything more. Of course he always surprises me with something! I just don't like over the top... we can do that for our anniversary- a special date that we can celebrate on our own!

  4. I feel the same way, Natalie! It would be a little nice and I love flowers but my husband takes care of me and is thoughtful (as thoughtful as a guy who does not seem to understand how a dishwasher works can be) every day. And that's a hell of a lot more than many women get.


Please don't make me cry.


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