I've heard recently that watching TV and/or staring at the computer screen right up until you go to bed can negatively impact your ability to sleep well. Last night, half an hour before bed, I turned off the TV, walked away from the laptop, and spent 15 minutes stretching and breathing deeply. I told myself I was going to sleep straight through the night, that if I woke up I would roll right back over and drift right back off to sleep. I told myself over and over again that I was going to get good sleep, that I'd awake feeling refreshed and be ready to start my day. I told myself that I'd have a good day today.
I slept nearly straight through. I know I woke a time or two, but I don't remember fighting for sleep to come back to me, the way I usually do between 2 and 5 a.m.
I keep telling myself that today is going to be a good day. I'm trying to not focus on my frustrations, but rather on the fact that they are temporary and passing and will not matter in a few hours.
Remember when that book "The Secret" was all the rage? SPOILER ALERT: The secret is that your thoughts become things. The power of positive thinking; it's not bullshit, it's fact.
When I have Teh Sad, positive thinking is the hardest thing in the world. How am I supposed to remember to be grateful for everything I've got when I'm so sad about everything I don't have? How am I supposed to go to work with a smile when all I'm thinking about is how unfair everything is?
I can be sad, and think those sad thoughts, or I can tell those sad thoughts to STFU and think about this happy shit over here for a while. The sad stuff is still around, but I'm going to put it in this cabinet over here until it's smaller and not so overwhelming.
The sun's out. I'm going to spend more time in it.