Sunday, August 29, 2010

For someone with nothing to say, I sure do blog a lot.

Every time I hear Michael Jackson, I'm immediately 8 years old again.  I remember being thrilled by his music.  I'm ashamed that I denied that fact when he was accused of touching little boys.  I hope he didn't really touch little boys. But if he didn't, about getting a raw deal.  He was the biggest thing ever and then he was lower than poop. 

(Jimi YouTubed Human Nature and left it playing on a loop while he went into the next room to pack up the Wii we've been borrowing from Karen for the last few months.  So that's where the Michael Jackson thing is coming from.  I'm not one of those obsessed fan sort of people.  I promise.)

I wanna get in the zone and write until my fingers are numb.  But I have nothing to say.  Nothing I've not already said a million times before.  

I've felt like a bottomless pit this weekend.  I keep eating and eating and eating and I don't want to stop and when I'm too full to eat anymore I think about what I'm going to eat the next time I'm hungry.  I tell myself this is okay behavior because it's almost 'that time of the month', but in reality, this is never okay behavior unless you want to get fat. 

But at least I walked the dog this morning.  And it was a good long walk, too.  

I brought home billing that should've been done Friday and now it's nearly 10 p.m. on Sunday and it's not looking good for the billing getting done tonight.  

But I probably will have a bowl of ice cream.  Not for a while, though.  I'm still full from dinner.

Stacy called earlier and told me Aunt Cill is getting married in Gatlinburg this weekend.  She thinks we should ride down for the wedding.  If we didn't have plans to be at our spot camping for only the third time this year, I'd be in.  But alas, I really miss camping.  And I don't know if Cill wants guests at her wedding or not.  I'll call Stacy back tomorrow and get the full scoop.  I'm happy for the happy couple, though, and wish for them a happily ever after.  (And I'm wondering how Grandma's gonna take this?  They weren't telling her before...but they can't keep a marriage secret, can they?  The plot thickens.)

I'm going to start walking the dog every day.  And meditating.  Or praying.  Whatever.  

I need some focus.  I feel like I'm lost, floating, drifting.  I need some direction.  I don't know where I'm going or what I'm doing, but right now, in this moment, it's not enough.  I need to do more.  I just don't know what that is yet.  

Walking and being quiet.  It's a start.

1 comment:

  1. I really like how you articulated your thoughts--especially the very last sentence. Good way to regroup and gather yourself. That has worked for me. Hope it help you.


Please don't make me cry.


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