A friend asked me that the other day, while telling me about her new break-up. Six, was her answer. Zero was mine. I'd kill him. To not come home, to just disappear for an entire night, with no phone call or "Hey, I'm staying at so-and-so's tonight" - cannot even imagine.
Another woman I know is in a long distance relationship - she says he's the best thing that's ever happened to her, that he's wonderful and is better to her than she ever imagined a man could be. But every couple of weeks, he stops answering her calls or returning her texts. For up to four days at a time. Most recently at Christmas and New Year. There's always some lame explanation - he was sick or busy at work. Too sick or busy to text "I love you, but I feel like shit and can't talk because my throat hurts"?
Our administrative assistant has not been in the honeymoon phase since her wedding last July - her husband has a drinking problem and regularly becomes belligerent and mean. Yesterday, she told me how the weekend was good, and how he's trying to turn over a new leaf and be a better husband to her. Last night, he didn't come home.
So. This is a normal thing? This is common? I wouldn't have thought so, but dang, there seems to be a lot of it going around. How often does your husband/wife/partner not come home at night? How many times have you stayed up till the wee hours of the morning, praying he'll pick up before the next ring, or that you'll hear his key in the door at any moment? How many times have you wondered, "Should I call the police? The hospitals?"
I had one boyfriend one time who did something similar. He came home, he just came home very very late. He'd been fucking another chick, of course, but I didn't learn that until many months later. I was so relieved he wasn't dead, my anger was quenched by his bullshit story about playing some video game with his brother and falling asleep on the couch.
My ex-husband never did that, though. Jimi's never done it either. That's childish inconsiderate cruel unacceptable behavior. Grown-ups don't do shit like that.