. How much difference does it really make in the entirety of your life, which kindergarten you attend? I suppose not much. Unless you go to a really bad one.
. How does a parent identify, from the outside, a really bad kindergarten?
. Is our president working for Putin?
. What are we going to have for dinner tomorrow night?
. Today I've heard three separate tales of how white people, as a culture, actively worked to destroy people who were different from them. Three separate cultures, too. WTF, white people?
. Why haven't white people realized yet that we're the problem?
. What happens to someone who is deported from the US, after living here for most of their lives?
. Why can't I stop arguing with my 4 year old?
. I give my kids most of the things they ask for; they usually respond by complaining about it. How do I break that in them without beating them?
. How many members of Congress are working for Putin?
. I'm pretty certain the NRA is working for Putin. Okay, not really. Well, maybe. But it's fucked up how much of our nation they control.
. What is a religious person's objection to making sure peoples' basic needs are met? i.e. Universal healthcare, welfare, food stamps, WIC and SNAP, etc.
. Why can't I find the motivation to move my ass on a regular basis? I want to exercise more, to lift more, why don't I do it?
. Is my husband reading this over my shoulder, or did he really want to stand next to me and pet my head in the dark dining room for 45 seconds?
. Is the weather really turning to shit tonight? Man, I hope the roads aren't bad in the morning. Will need to get up a little early. Maybe I'll get to bed a little earlier...but it's almost 11, so that's unlikely.
. What am I going to wear to work tomorrow?
. I still didn't play GO Fish with G tonight. We've been talking about playing Go Fish since Saturday. I suck at momming sometimes.
. Is Cora ever going to be potty trained? I'm so over buying pullups.
. My 20 year high school reunion is a week from Saturday. What in the fuck am I going to wear to that?
. I really should spend more time paying attention to my sweet husband.
. I should've gone to bed 2 hours ago. I'm tired.
. How can I convince my boss I deserve a raise?
. I should walk Finn more. Damn it, it's so cold, though!
. He really does need a good brushing.
. I need there to be more hours in the day.
. I still need to get my damned oil changed. Shit.
. Ugh. I need to get a copy of TurboTax and get started on our taxes. Do i know where all our forms and receipts are? Ugh.
. Are we going to take an actual vacation this year?
. Speaking of vacation - my balance was only 40 hours when I checked online today. I need that fixed.
. Why am I writing out a list of this stupid shit at 11 p.m., as I sip my hot tea and try to get myself ready for bed? I already did my bedtime yoga, even. Probably should've let this shit out before then.
. Geneva and Cora's bedroom is a disaster; so is the entire upstairs, again. And my laundry is piling up. Nature loves chaos - i wish it didn't make me feel so fucking anxious.
. And the kitchen sink is full of dishes. I just can't, not tonight. I have no energy, no drive. It's no wonder my back aches, you should see the way I'm slouched in this chair. (I straightened up, though, because that was dumb.)
. I still need to make sure mom can keep the girls Friday night.
. What are Maria and I going to do Saturday?
. I forgot to tell Jimi Mom wants us to come over for dinner Thursday night.
. When can Patricia and I get together in the next week?
. That's a lot of socializing and it's starting to freak me out.
. I've got to get over this social anxiety bullshit. It's making me a terrible friend. But dammit. Some days it just feels impossible to even read a text message, much less respond to one. Natalie from 10 years ago would be aghast.
. Stacy never emailed me today - I need to make sure I check in with her tomorrow. We need to get the girls together soon, too. More socializing, but they don't really count.
. I hope I'm not screwing my kids up too badly. I just want to be a good mom.
. Jimi and I won't always be the parents of tiny children - it'll get easier to find time together, and it won't always be this hard to just get through the day to day. Right?
Not even gonna read through this again. Just gonna post it. My Crazy: A Sample. :) Sweet dreams, friends.
Feel free to leave a list of your crazy brain commentary below. Show me I'm not the only one.