Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Here we go again.

Last time, I came here and poured it all out.  All of it.  Every excitement, joy, selfish fear. 
This time, I'm scared to say anything.  What if it ends?  again

For me, though.  This is for me.  This is not for you, or for him, or for them.  This is for me.

I'm terrified.  I'm so fucking happy.  I'm crying but I don't know where to place the blame for the tears.

In only the teeniest, tiniest part of my hopeful heart did I think that second line was going to show, but it turns out, that teeny tiny hope was enough.

In only the teeniest, tiniest part of my hopeful heart do I let myself hope that this time will be different.  Because what if it's not?  Oh, please, let that teeny tiny hope be enough.

If you know me in real life, this is between us for now, okay?  In fact, if you mentioned it to me in a room full of people I would pretend I didn't know what in the hell you were talking about, call you crazy, and then rush to delete this post.

Here we go again, yo.  Let's do this thing.


  1. AHHH!!!! I am so excited for your Natalie!! Praying that this is IT for you. Keep working on approaching this with HOPE instead of fear. :)

  2. OMG!!! That is so awesome! Congrats and I will be sending you lots of prayers!!!

  3. Oh, sweetie. I'm so happy for you two! Well, three. Maybe four....

    My fingers are crossed so fucking hard for you. Love!

  4. I just cried a happy little year for you and that itty bitty glimmer of hope you're growing, Nat. I can't wait to hear more!

  5. Right on. Let's do this. I'm going to really kick your ass on cigarette consumption. I'll text/call/FB message you every day if I have to.

    I love you and good luck!

  6. Oh gosh that is awesome Natalie! Congrats to you and Jimi!


Please don't make me cry.


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