The Best Parts of the Week were, in no particular order:
Geneva told her sitter's husband this afternoon: "My mom is pretty." I'm not sure where that came from, but man, it sure felt good.
Know what was even better though? Last night, she and I went for a walk around the block. "I love you, Mommy." and "I love walking with you, Mommy." Wow.
This morning, Geneva was reading a book to Cora. Those girls. Geneva loves Cora so much, and Cora searches for Geneva constantly, her face lighting up in a huge two-tooth grin when she finds her sister. Watching them together makes me feel like maybe I understand my purpose in this life.
Geneva and I went swimming Sunday and Monday nights. The whole fam-damily went to Columbus OH for three days so I could do some training with my counterpart in that office, and the hotel we were in had an indoor pool with so much chlorine the water had a film over the surface and my skin started to burn after fifteen minutes. G gave zero fucks about her burning eyes and skin, though - she was SWIMMING! We took turns being sharks, holding our hands up like fins above our heads and saying "Do do, do do, do do" as we moved in for the tickle attacks. I wish sometimes I had a videographer who could follow me around and record all of these precious moments i'm going to forget in the next twenty minutes. I'm adding that to my list of shit to buy when I win the lottery or come up with a multi-million dollar idea. Videographer. I'll build them an addition on the back of the house so they can live on-site.
Full length mirrors. I'm almost back to my pre-pregnancy weight - thanks only to the tandem breastfeeding and poor nutrition that comes from being a full-time working mother of two because I sure as fuck can't get my ass to the gym - and my body is something that gives me good thoughts more days than not. I don't know how I look to other people, but when I see me, I see a strong woman who's given birth and life to two amazing little girls with this body...gotta respect it, you know? And I recently bought some new clothes that make me feel a little more sophisticated than my usual uniform of yoga pants, nursing tank, light casual cardigan/blouse. A few of the guys around the office have made some comments that tell me I'm not looking half bad for a 35 year old mother of two - a cheap thrill, sure, but a thrill nonetheless. (she says as she slugs another mouthful of refrigerated cabernet sauvignon from the 375ml bottle her husband bought for $20 in the hotel lobby and they never got around to drinking together because the kids never go to sleep early enough for the grownups to enough energy to have grownup time...)
I'll get a check for a couple hundred bucks for my mileage for the trip at the start of the week. Extra money is always good.
My husband is so awesome. Wednesday was sort of, well, really hard for me. For no particular reason, just because sometimes life is hard, even if the difficulty is of your own making or even in your own head. Hard is hard. I cried the entire way to work that morning. I was miserable all day. I got home that night and our conversation had me in tears again. He did what he's always done - he listened, and then he offered a couple of logical solutions, each with their own pros and cons he was patient enough to weigh out with me. He listened to my pipe dreams and pretended with me that there was actually a way to make them reality. He promised me that if I needed to follow through with those pretend fantasies, he'd work with me to ensure our success. I can't make the sort of changes I'd really like right now, but it's so reassuring and comforting to know that my partner will be by my side to help me work out viable solutions to my problems every step of the way. I love my Jimi. For so many years now he's been my safe place, my confidant, my best friend. The new and the shiny has long since worn off, but man, what we've got here, this beautiful thing we're still doing...we've got a special thing going, I think. one that seems it had to have been inspired, on purpose, intended, fated, destined, meant to be. Lucky, lucky us.
I have so many people who love me. I posted on facebook Wednesday: I'm struggling today with a lot of anxiety and feelings of inadequacy. My friends and family rallied to give me kind words of love and support. They made me cry happy tears. Sweet friends.
I harvested my first zucchini last night. Jimi sautéed it with garlic, olive oil, then squirted it with lime juice. Oh my goodness, it was so yummy. I sure hope we get another one. My eggplant flowered, I harvested one little pea pod that had the two most delicious peas I've ever tasted, we have about 8 tiny watermelons growing, and I think my seeds from Australia are actually growing. The sweet potato vines seem to be doing well, my beans and cucumbers are flowering - even the black beans! Did you know black bean flowers are pinkish/purple? They're so pretty.
I made it to Friday. Tomorrow's Saturday. YAY Weekend!
What was the best part of your week? And can you guess what this post was originally going to be about?
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Please don't make me cry.