I'm going to regret staying up so late, but dammit, it's Friday. i'm grown. I worked really hard all week. I should be able to kick back and chill for a while. Somehow, though, it doesn't matter what time they finally get to sleep, those little girls are up before the sun, ready to go go go, as if sleep were nothing more than a mere inconvenience. And they certainly don't care what time mommy finally caught some shut-eye. How is it that everything about parenting is the hardest thing and the most wonderful thing both at the same time?
I'm on top of the world. Life is amazing. Seriously. My only source of sad right now is my chronic lack of sleep and the fact that my house is a wreck. And i don't much care, honestly, about the state of the house. Fuck it. I promise I will never look back on my life and wish longingly for the good ol' days of picking up toys and doing endless loads of laundry and endless sinks-full of dishes - I may one day miss everything that creates those messes, but fuck cleaning them up. I'm just being honest.
My garden is going so well. I took a bunch of pictures tonight and uploaded them here:
I want to show you my garden
I spend a lot more time in my garden than i do cleaning. Is that true? I don't know if that's actually true. I did spend a lot of hours out there last weekend, but this entire week has been a complete bust due to rain. (Of course, I also haven't cleaned anything all week. It's a tie.) IT'S NOT A COMPETITION NATALIE!!!
Jimi's brother was over earlier tonight. G loves her Uncle J, and he says our girls are the most wonderful human beings on the planet and he's absolutely correct. Jimi stopped at a gas station on his way back after taking J home, and he brought me a Slim Jim. It's midnight, but I'm seriously weighing the cost/benefit analysis of eating that motherfucker right now.
Maybe I should just have another beer. That's an awfully big time commitment, though.
I spent two days this week doing computer process training with a guy from our St Louis office. It makes me feel really good that they think I know my shit well enough to entrust me to train others. Especially since I've always considered myself a terrible teacher. I'm learning that maybe I'm not actually a terrible teacher - maybe I've just told myself that because I lack confidence and therefore I'm intimidated by the idea of having to instruct someone - what if I tell them wrong?! But, truth be told, I'm pretty dang good at what I do - I really do know my shit. With the upheaval and change our business is going through, I'm glad to find myself in a position of being considered valuable - the day after Memorial Day, they fired my Cincinnati counterpart, a man who'd been with the company for 43 years. As much as I may bitch and moan, I certainly don't want to find myself separated from my employment by anything other than my absolute choice. I need my job. I know I'd be fine, but until I'm ready to make some crazy leap, i really do enjoy the security of having money deposited in my bank account every Friday morning.
12:25. Still debating that Slim Jim. And the beer. Both?
Nah, nothing. Baby's up.
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Please don't make me cry.